I Don’t Know Anything
Not too many years ago, I thought I had it all figured out. My Christian teachings had given me all the answers to all my questions. Now, I am not certain of anything.
I was taught that the meaning of life was to experience the love of Jesus and share this love with others. It seems to me now that this is a very good place to be in life, but not ultimately fulfilling. I don’t know what the meaning of life is – I’ve listened to many opinions and read many books on the subject, but haven’t found any explanations that made sense.
I used to believe that helping the needy was a very great thing to do and possibly a noble life goal. When I got into the details though, I found some holes. For instance, if someone is homeless and penniless, and I help them find a home and find employment – are they really better off now? Does money bring happiness? Is it not possible to be homeless but happier and more fulfilled than someone in the middle or upper class?
I had an idea that a truly noble cause would be the elimination of violence. I couldn’t think of any “good” that could come from violence. But then I started thinking of the defense of our country. Could we say that we will never be the aggressor and only use violence when absolutely necessary to defend our homeland? The problem with this occurs when another country devises a long-distance weapon (like a bomb) that we can’t directly stop. In this case we would have to be the aggressor and invade that country to remove the threat.
I saw the commercials about the starving children in Africa and realized that sending money and food to them was a very good thing to do. I then read reports about the local African farmers who are unable to make a living because nobody buys their food when it is available for free, from me. So by putting the farmers out of business, I am creating a country that is completely dependant on my generosity forever. Not a healthy situation for anyone.
I also had God all figured out. He was the God of the Bible. A God of love, jealousy, vengeance and unchangeable. One day I re-read the beginning – Genesis chapter 1. It says “God spoke” at a time when nothing existed yet. There was no world, no atmosphere, nothing. So I wondered if God made an audible sound when he spoke. Apparently sound doesn’t travel too well in nothingness. And what language was spoken? And did God have vocal chords and a mouth? God didn’t really have a human body floating around in nothingness with nothing to see or air to breathe right? So we say the God is male. How is a being without a physical body that can exist in nothingness “male”? How can we give human attributes to this being? How does a human brain comprehend God at any level?
Anyways, these are a few of the things in my life that I don’t know. In fact, I’m no longer certain that I know anything for sure. Do you?
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