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A New Philosophy of Life

// January 20th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Barry

I think that most children have a simple instinct to find immediate pleasure for themselves whenever possible.  They are unable to make many predictions about the future so they just do what looks good in front of them and that’s it.  As adults, we’re able to make better predictions of the future so we do stuff like go to school to get qualified to get a high paying job or whatever.

I’ve realized now that there is no purpose to life – there is nothing that can make me truly and completely happy.  I think that there are many people in the world that feel completely happy but I think they’re living a delusion.  For instance, many people believe that Jesus is watching them and guiding them daily so they feel completely happy having this ultimately important being concerned about them – but it is a delusion.  Many others keep themselves so busy with “stuff” that they don’t think about the meaning of life or anything else so when you ask them if they are happy they might say “yes”, but they’re not really thinking about it completely.

So if there is no true happiness to be found in life, what do we do?  We can give up and commit suicide and enter nothingness as we cease to exist consciously (the thought of this would have horrified me before, but I can’t get worked up about it anymore).  Or we can do what I think is the only solution now – act like a child and hope for simple and immediate pleasures.  If I can go to a party and laugh for an hour and feel good – then that is as much as I can hope for in life.

I’m not sure how to fit in my loving feelings for my family into this philosophy.  I love them and would do nothing to hurt them but I don’t see the immediate pleasure there…maybe it’s just the fact that I don’t have to be alone all the time?  I hope it’s more than that.

Dieing to Live

// January 3rd, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Barry

Way back when I was in high school, I remember my world religions teacher teaching us (the class) about Zen Buddhism and actually, he told us that was his “religion” (if it can be called that).  The only point that stuck with me was that he told how ideally, a Zen Buddhist person would never hold on to any grudge or anything.  Someone in the class even asked what he would do if somebody murdered his son and he said that he would be angry, but that he would try to accept it and move on with life.  I laughed to myself when I heard that and though he was stupid.  I don’t think he’s stupid anymore.

I watched a movie the other day about a mother who couldn’t deal with living after her young child died.  I can understand this to a certain extent (I realize that nobody can really understand unless it’s happened to them personally), allowing the guilt and the second-guessing of yourself to allow such a tragedy.  I’m sure that anyone reading this blog has known the pain of having a friend die and how it affects so much of your life.  But lately I’ve been looking at this problem from a different angle.

Here’s the thing – life is short.  That’s it.  Think of it, whatever age you are now, you will never get that back again.  The year 2009 is gone and never to return, so if you are just coasting through your life, putting in your time doing the same old things every day, me thinks you will regret it.  So what does this have to do with losing a friend?  Simple, let it go, let them go, move on.  I know it sounds harsh but really, if they’re dead, they’re dead and they don’t care if you are remembering them, or mourning them or anything ’cause they’re dead.  I think it’s great to remember the good things about lost friends and take the good parts of their lives and learn from them but just move on and let it go, because Life Is Short.

Really, you should think about death often.  You should think about your own death often and how near it is.  Even if you’re not even 20 years old yet, do you think death is far away?  I remember turning 20 and now I’m closing in on 40 and I don’t know where the years went sometimes.  Think about how short the rest of your days are and LIVE!  Do what you want to do today.  I even think that if you do something stupid and lose all your money and end up destitute it doesn’t really matter does it?  ‘Cause life is short and you gave it your best shot.  Do you really want to be sitting around in your old age home thinking about all the missed opportunities you had in your life?  And they are missed opportunities for no reason except you were lazy or scared to try.

Glenn is thinking about making an early retirement in Costa Rica.  Maybe it won’t work out and he’ll have to come crawling back home after a few years but so what?  He went for it and he tried and he won’t be wondering “what if?”.  If you’ve read my old blogs, you know some of the stuff that I do that is wild and exciting and I want more.  I’m Dieing to Live.

A Slumdog’s Life

// November 22nd, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Barry

I just finished watching “Slumdog Millionaire” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1010048/) for the 2nd time.  It’s reminded me to think about the meaning of life and death.  Here’s what I’m thinking…the older brother Salim, throughout his whole life has this idea that life is about being somebody important with lots of money.  This seems very shallow on the surface, but I am certain that 9 out of every 10 people on earth are striving for this very thing.  The younger brother Jamaal has fallen in love with a girl (Latika).  Nothing else in the world matters except finding her and loving her.  At the end, I think Salim realizes that he has a perfect answer – he can find forgiveness from his brother (by returning his girlfriend) and he can escape from his life which he realizes is pointless (in a murder – suicide).  Sometimes I think that suicide is always the wrong answer, and sometimes I don’t.  Is there really much difference if you live 30 years or 60 years?  Is it better to go out with a bang (suicide) while doing something heroic vs. avoiding danger and living until you die of old age?  And is it a waste of life to focus your entire existance on 1 thing (like finding the girl of your dreams)?  Maybe Jamaal and  Latika don’t live happily ever after?  Maybe after a couple of years they find out they don’t really like each other and split up?  Would you say Jamaal had wasted his life finding her?  I don’t think so.  When there is no ultimate purpose of life, one idea is as good as the next.  while he was searching for Latika he had a purpose.  Whan Latika found out that she was not forgotten, she felt special.  Sounds like a purpose for life to me.

How about another movie called “28 Weeks Later”? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0463854/)  Yes, it’s another zombie movie.  But there’s one part where they show the father of the family escape and run away from a house that is overrun by zombies because he is convinced that there is no way his family could possibly survive.  Of course, he’s wrong and his wife does survive, but I try to imagine what he was feeling as he continued to live his life.  Yes, he was still alive, but he had to live with the fact that he didn’t stand up for his family.  Which is better – to be alive and full of regret?  Or to stick by your principles and end up dieing?  I know I would go back in that house.

It’s not really depression

// March 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Barry

It’s not really depression, it’s more like an anger at life in its boringness.  When I’m doing something really fun like going to a swinger’s party, I feel like I’m king of the world.  You’ve probably heard the saying that you should enjoy the down times in life because they make the up times sweeter.  Well, I think I’m getting stuck in the opposite – my up times are so fantastic that the rest of the time, my normal days have become so drab and boring that it often feels painful.  So should I try to bring more wild times in my life?  Or will that make the problem worse?  I’m still doing plenty of things that I think are “fun” but they just seem to be about half as fun as they used to be.
Glenn talked about “escaping reality” by reading a good book.  Yeah, that works, but I can’t read good books for the 40 hours a week I have to work.  Is that really the best idea though?  Just escape reality so the boring times go by quicker?  I guess I still don’t get the whole “live in the moment” thing with meditation and whatnot.  If 90% of my life is boring, why live in the moment?  I know I’m supposed to find the little happiness’s in everything, but they just seem so pitiful compared to a rockin’ swinger dance.  Maybe I should do more drugs and alcohol, that escapes reality right?  It just seems so weak to me.
I feel kinda bad writing this stuff because most of the people in my life are really great and I love them and they might feel bad and think they should do something to help me.  I just think this is my own demon I need to wrestle with.  Who couldn’t love a wife that likes having threesome’s?

If I think about it long enough, will I find an answer?

But the vain memory of our lost days

// January 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // Barry

There is no love

(Not really, not enough).

We live unaided,

We die abandoned.

The appeal for pity

Resonates in the void,

Our bodies are crippled

But our flesh is eager.

Gone are the promises

Of a teenage body,

We enter an old age

Where nothing awaits us

But the vain memory

Of our lost days,

A convulsion of hate

And naked despair.

Michel Houellebecq

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